In an effort to avoid packing

I found this on another site and just love these stickers...as I refuse to put them on my car I am posting it here instead..lol. Not a lot of choices for hair and body style but it gets the job done.

As much as I would love to continue to waste your time and mine I must go do dishes. Gag.

Broke Back Deer Camp...cause I had too...

Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
The other two said, 'Man, what happened to you?' He said, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'
The next night it was the second guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
The other two said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up and watched him all night.'
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.
'Good morning,' he said.
The other two couldn't believe it! He looked rested and wide awake.
They asked, 'Man, what happened?'
He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed patted his a$$ and kissed him good night.
Daryl sat up and watched me all night.'

Sing along time....

Ok folks its an old kiddo fave......you'll pick it up.....

Over the river and thru the woods to Grandmas Subdivision we go
The hubby knows the way to drive the UHaul sleigh
The kids are praying for winter snow......... ohhhhhh...

OK put the hairbrushes down and assure your children you are fine....

Suprise suprise suprise...(I am so channeling Gomer Pyle right now)

WE ARE MOVING TO GA...SATURDAY! ;0

If this comes as a bit of a shock trust me it was no less here!! :)

But the timing is right, or as right as it will ever be, so off we go on a new adventure!!! We got a great little house (well not so little really 3 bed 2 bath separate dinning- w/ a lake VIEW but has access) and at a great price. And...this is what really gets me going...it has A YARD!!!! Yes you read that right...a house.......with a YARD!! Shocking I know...lol....truly I have lived in Apts and such so long that I can't wait to have grass Hubby can mow, and be able to say things like "If your going to argue go outside"- you can't do that in apts- the neighbors call the cops. But anyway I'll post more details and pictures later. I just wanted to warn y'all that the computer is being packed on Friday and won't be hooked back up till the 1st. That is if the new AT&T can find it...the house not the computer..I should have found the computer by then.
Wish us luck......

We'll be right back...

Jumped up Monday and came to visit the parents. We will be back to our regularly scheduled program ASAP.

PS Popstar finally jumped from the diving board!!!!! My parents pool has one. So I got the video on my phone but haven't transferred it yet...lol. Smooch is typically BORED with everything and Pie is well Pie. Hubby is here so all is good for now.

See y'all on the flip side!!!!

Application to date my daughter

This is an old fave of mine...Most of us will need it soon..... I am personally sending a copy home with the BF as his hands were shaking to bad to fill it out....lol. And I LIKE him....

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_______________________________DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES___________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If No, explain:________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married _____

If less than your age, explain_____________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed?__Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo?__Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ______________

When would be the best time to interview your:

Father? _____________

Mother? _____________

Pastor/Priest ? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be:___________ ___________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:______________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:______________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:_______________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do with your life ? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:______________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?_____________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS._________________________________________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________

Mother's Signature_______________________________

Father's Signature_______________________________

____________________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi StateRepresentative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.(you might want to watch your back.)

To prepare yourself, start studying Mommy's Rules for Dating ....

Mommy's Rules for Dating

1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

3. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

4. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tanktops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

5. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, grey haired, middle aged,dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless goddess of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


6. Be afraid. Be very afraid. The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

WOO HOO!!!

I just uploaded my first video and off my camera too.....Y'all are in for it now!!!! No Really I did it to see if I could cause Grandpa and Grandma live in another state...but now I know I can and ...well...wooo hooooo.... I can share the fun stuff...(repeat that last line with a conga line sort rhythm...) I can share the fun stuff..... and I am so happy!!!!! I can share w/Grandma...I can share w/Grandpa!!! .....OK y'all are getting the groove.......this is what we are about...and we are HAPPY!!!!! Hope y'all enjoy the first of many Mom and Dad!!!!!!
(pick up rhythm again....)
I am so proud of me-e...I am so proud of me-e...(same conga line rhythm folks...sing along y'all in the back....) I can share the grandkids...I can share the grandkids.......I will win AWAR -ards...I will be in the will-ill......LOL.... no ........not really....but we'll have fun anyway....love y'all!

We jumped....

And I was so proud.......!! Ms. D got us started..holding hands and jumping....and M was jumping by himself.....so in true "nobody does it better" fashion...Popstar jumped.......And Pie was nice enough to run up and get my camera so I could record it for the record................(God I love these kids...)

Parting is such sweet sorrow....

(This was susposed to be posted after the last day of school but I never got the pics I needed...)

....and it all ends tomorrow.

(PS this picture is not blurry...they just don't stay still.)

Well the 5th grade is over, at least for Smooch it is. And I am so going to miss it. We have had the best year.

Friday lunches: and recess,

a couple of good field trips,

(Check him out if you get a minute...SUPERCOOL.....Cool enough that I paid for this Tshirt.)

excellent friends:But the thing that brought it all together ......That really made it good..............We had the best teacher you could ever hope to have:

Mrs. S was at the controls of the chaos this year and it was a true blessing. Seldom in Smooch's school career have I felt so welcome in a classroom (even with Popstar and Hubby in tow), rarely have I been able to come and go with impunity, involve myself in the daily workings of her life, really feel like I had a handle on what was going on with her when she was at school. We got to play with her friends and get to know them all. We got to look over projects and watch presentations, listen to books on tape, watch Smooch read the school news on TV, and make ice cream in ziploc bags:(I mean come on.....when your 11 yr olds teacher allows your two yr old to particpate in activities and helps to foster a love of school you know you have someone special.)

I went to book fairs and book swaps, even cook outs. We spent so much time at her school this year the whole family made it into the yearbook ( I so need a scanner).

This was a year that will not be forgotten.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you Mrs. S.

You did more than teach our kids this year. You made a huge difference in our lives.

New rules for 2008

I got this e-mail from my Dad and laughed so hard I had to share....

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for cla**mates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days--mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar What did you expect it to cont ain?? Trout?

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule:The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet,' ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule:I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pres sing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule:Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open o f Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting??? Oh wait!? They're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'

New Rule:I don't need bigger, mega M&Ms. & ;I f I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule:No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule:and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web c am, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule:When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. '27 Months.' 'He's two,' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule:If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'